Saturday, August 22, 2009

Where Have I Been?

It's hard to believe that it's been a month since I've posted anything here.

Life has not changed much except for the fact that my daughter, Cara, has officially entered her third trimester of pregnancy. She is doing well--her asthma and diabetes are still under control--although at her last ultrasound there was a small concern that the baby was slightly larger than anticipated for her due date. Now, the doctors have decided to do ultrasounds every 4 weeks rather than every 6 weeks.

Work is more stressful every day as additional workloads are placed on us as more people are leaving and not being replaced--as well as the extra "things" that we are expected to do. In all of these "things", I'm wondering what happened to the patient care--the most important of everything we are supposed to be doing.

Home is also very stressful. My home is still filled to the brim with all 3 adult children living with me plus Ryan. I'm wondering where I'm going to put a newborn (and all the items they seem to "require" these days) if Ryan and Cara don't have their own place by the time the baby is born. The prospects of them having their own place to live is diminishing rapidly.

Add to this the addition of my youngest--moved from Texas back home to Pennsylvania the beginning of June. She alternates between being miserable with this decision to seeming to have made peace with this--crying one moment and happy the next--but deep inside is unhappy. She is having the tendency to push all of her unhappy feelings unto others instead of looking into herself for the source of her unhappiness.

In my home, there are senseless arguments, unnecessary remarks made to others--all hurtful and almost all of them involving the past which cannot be changed, so why does everyone keep going back there? I know the answer to this, but unfortunately, there are those that are living here that do not.

I truly feel as though I go from a stress-filled work place to a stress-filled home, and today I may just take myself away for the day--a day of solitude, peace and quiet--sounds like the library may be a good choice for today.

I do miss blogging, and I'm going to try (once again) to be here more often--if only to vent my frustrations. You don't mind reading my frustrations, do you? And if you don't read them, at least I have put them down in writing and helped to rid myself of them.

There are happy times--though few and far between. As always, I am going to my Father with all of this--asking Him for guidance and direction, giving Him my worries and anxieties.

Please keep all of us in your prayers. Believe me, we need them.



Tea said...

Hi Beth, I so (for real) know the stress of living in a home with people who don't follow Christ, the Word. You have to be agreed together to walk together peacefully. It's peaceful here now, but times were when it wasn't. I'll keep you and your children in my prayers for that.

The lilies will be even more beautiful next year since they have spent the whole summer diggin' their roots in and making foliage. You'll be so tickled with them when they bloom. :)

grey like snuffie said...

So good to hear from do have a houseful. Find a quiet place, sit and knit and watch's very entertaining.

Praying His peace soaks in deep in spite of the household chaos...also praying that all the adults find their own lives outside your nest...there is a time that it is good to help our own and hopefully this will not linger too much longer. Peace, peace, peace.
I've been trying to find an easy baby sock to knit. They are so little and doing the heel just about does me in. Reading directions is not my strong suit. But I'm having fun making little things.

Beth in NC said...

I definitely miss you and I pray that this long season will be behind you soon.


Peggy said...

Blessings Beth..and welcome back kinda! I really love this Ephesians Masterpiece header & your widget on Cara's baby with how many days to go!

You certainly have a full load and it's no wonder that now is the time to get support from others like us!
In prayer or just as a sounding board!

I'm praying for you, your job situation & each of your household!
Hopefully as Beth in NC says this season passes soon...and you step forward victoriously! May Our Lord bless each one of you & move in all His power to complete that which He has begun & purposed! Miss you & your insights but this world can wait while you get the REAL one in a peaceful order!

How is your garden or planting? Or knitting coming along on that baby blanket? How 'bout crocheting of the Names??? Waiting for photos!
C'mon once a week blogging won't kill ya!

Deb said...

I, too, have been missing you and am glad to hear from you again!!
Beth, I know what it's like to be living in the season you are in as the last 2 months, but especially the last week, has tested me beyond anything I could have imagined over the last 15+ years..Just continue to trust in and be patient with the One Who can handle every situation for your best and His glory!!

Kay Martin said...

Today must be a significant day for you in the Lord. I had to find you and today I did.

God is strengthening His daughters and sons moment by moment as we need Him. I don't have any 1-2-3- steps for how you will manage but you will.

Just know that God insisted I find you this morning. He is with you and He is not surprised.

When i get to these wild wild times in life I do the Nestea plunge. Recall that commercial where the guy is on the high dive and there is nothing in the swimming pool below. When he dares to jump off the pool is filled with ice tea. That is what I feel like in those overwhelming times of life. I dare to believe God will be there ahead of me. I do what I can in moment and refuse to borrow tomorrow.

Be at peace....He loves you so.

Jennifer said...

I have truly missed you, my friend!

Try to find a place that you can go once or twice a week for some peace and quiet...away from the house...maybe the park to sit, pray, knit or just do nothing.

You deserve that! Be good to yourself cause this little grandbaby will need you :-D

Big ((HUGS))

Darlene said...

Beth...I had not idea that you are going through so much. I will be praying for you. I have not been in blog land much since the beginning of summer.
Communication is the key to a lot of things. Communication has finally restored between Andrea and I. Been a long road and still further to least we are talking again.
If you need to talk please don't hesitate to call me I will gladly sure took the time to listen to me.
Blessings to you my sweet friend!

Sharon said...

STRESS~~~~YIKES, I'm there with ya!
Got my m-in-law living with us, and we won't get into the situations with his brother and her husband, I have never seen grown adults not grow up and be and beeeeeeeee well u get what I am saying. Anyways please feel free to vent anytime,

Know that I am praying for peace in your work place and peace in your home.
Have a Blessed and Joyfilled week

MyJourneyBack said...

Oh Beth,
I have been away too for completely different reasons. It is amazing how we become friends through this medium. I am praying for you and your current frustrations. Sometimes it is so hard to have faith and trust when things are just so crazy. I feel like that alot. And I know what you mean about just being able to write down your thoughts. That is the way I felt when I began my blog almost two years ago now. It has taken different directions through since I began it but like you sometimes I just realize it is just what I need to express myself and another medium to reach out to the Father through a different kind of prayer. And, I believe he uses it to bring us all together to use us to help each other. So my sweet sister I lift you up today. I ask our father to just put his arms around you and hold you tight. Rest in him.