Saturday, August 22, 2009

Where Have I Been?

It's hard to believe that it's been a month since I've posted anything here.

Life has not changed much except for the fact that my daughter, Cara, has officially entered her third trimester of pregnancy. She is doing well--her asthma and diabetes are still under control--although at her last ultrasound there was a small concern that the baby was slightly larger than anticipated for her due date. Now, the doctors have decided to do ultrasounds every 4 weeks rather than every 6 weeks.

Work is more stressful every day as additional workloads are placed on us as more people are leaving and not being replaced--as well as the extra "things" that we are expected to do. In all of these "things", I'm wondering what happened to the patient care--the most important of everything we are supposed to be doing.

Home is also very stressful. My home is still filled to the brim with all 3 adult children living with me plus Ryan. I'm wondering where I'm going to put a newborn (and all the items they seem to "require" these days) if Ryan and Cara don't have their own place by the time the baby is born. The prospects of them having their own place to live is diminishing rapidly.

Add to this the addition of my youngest--moved from Texas back home to Pennsylvania the beginning of June. She alternates between being miserable with this decision to seeming to have made peace with this--crying one moment and happy the next--but deep inside is unhappy. She is having the tendency to push all of her unhappy feelings unto others instead of looking into herself for the source of her unhappiness.

In my home, there are senseless arguments, unnecessary remarks made to others--all hurtful and almost all of them involving the past which cannot be changed, so why does everyone keep going back there? I know the answer to this, but unfortunately, there are those that are living here that do not.

I truly feel as though I go from a stress-filled work place to a stress-filled home, and today I may just take myself away for the day--a day of solitude, peace and quiet--sounds like the library may be a good choice for today.

I do miss blogging, and I'm going to try (once again) to be here more often--if only to vent my frustrations. You don't mind reading my frustrations, do you? And if you don't read them, at least I have put them down in writing and helped to rid myself of them.

There are happy times--though few and far between. As always, I am going to my Father with all of this--asking Him for guidance and direction, giving Him my worries and anxieties.

Please keep all of us in your prayers. Believe me, we need them.